Captain Paradox!

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 18:34:50 GMT

I have two buddies, guys I love dearly, who happen to be lawyers. One is a personal injury lawyer, and he actually has his own tv commercials. I swear to God. Do you have ANY idea how conflicted these friendships make me? Can you POSSIBLY understand how hard it is to be seen in public with these guys?

http://uk.biz.yahoo.com/050215/323/fcing.html

I think I'd rather hang out with anarchists.

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 22:17:03 GMT

Wow. I just misted up over a beer commercial, one I somehow missed during the Super Bowl.

Not joking here, dead serious.

http://www.herosalute.com/states/big_game_ad_WMhi.html

I think I will buy a Bud tonight.

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 21:24:21 GMT

Allright, OK, FINE. I now believe in evolution, the whole we-came-from-monkeys thing. I mean, look, they've found the "missing link".

http://www.nature.com/news/2005/050131/full/050131-5.html

It has NEVER been so clear...

Who better to speak about elections being fake or meaningless?

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:43:15 GMT

Gorby's got a take! Let's see what the last Soviet premier has to say about the Iraqi elections...

http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/A2BF1277-4200-4BDB-9A98-162CFAA84225.htm

Bonus points for noticing it's Al Jazeera.

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 22:34:03 GMT

Somebody PLEASE call me RIGHT NOW!

And when I don't pick up, just keep calling back, OK?

Please?

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6873190/

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 20:50:32 GMT

Every time you think, "There aren't enough everyday people who our youth can look up to as heroes", a story like this comes along!

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1261997.html?menu

Too many funny parts to point out...

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 22:42:01 GMT

No, it's NOT The Left that censors. Is THIS the kind of action that MLK or Gandhi would have endorsed? I do not call this kind of action "civil disobedience". THAT would imply CIVILITY. To all those there- Nice work, children.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/050120/480/watw10201202221&e=15&ncid=1756

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 15:20:06 GMT

Do NOT follow this link unless you have an hour that you don't need. I have warned you, and I am not responsible for the consequences should you pay my admonition no heed. My lawyer swears I'm cool here...

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2004/coolsongs/index.html

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 15:07:11 GMT

My life has changed such that I will never again be the same man I was before.

http://www.public.asu.edu/~mharp/viking_kittens/VikingKitten.htm

Too moved... cannot... type...further...go away now...

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 16:04:06 GMT

I like Don Henley's music. I don't like Don Henley. I hate that...

We got Zarqawi today. That makes me happy. We will not behead him. That does NOT make me happy...

http://www.drudgereport.com/flashai.htm

Not enough bad, awful things can happen to that dude, and they won't. Damn...

One more big %#$@&*#$ down. Heh heh heh...

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 19:25:18 GMT

All right folks, here it is. TRAGEDY in the South Pacific. Unspeakable. And we all (listen up, Kofi) know that the US will show up with more stuff and cash, stay longer and do more than any other nation. But Lord knows, I cannot stand an ingrate. And I would like ALL of you to see what kind of scum is gonna get an Aquafina and a Snickers on our tab. I refer to the pud in the t-shirt, center back.

http://editorial.gettyimages.com/source/search/details_pop.aspx?iid=51896117&cdi=0

Think that asshole lost anyone in the towers? He DOES NOT want to meet me. I am not EVEN kidding. Dick.

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 22:50:54 GMT

Let me first say this- I've never done any kind of journalish thing before, and don't really know what it is I'm supposed to do here. So... Today is the first day of a another new year, and one that promises change possibly beyond my ability to comprehend it at this moment. That's a little scary, knowing that things are coming the result of which is irrevocable decisions being made, restructuring of a life and lives in ways completely unexpected and unforeseen just a few short months ago. Fortunately, I'm Superman. (that's for you, Ms. You-Know-Who-You-Are). Really, though, I've never been so awake and excited about the future. Never. I feel 10 foot tall and bulletproof, and it's all because someone came into my life and showed me, reminded me, that there is happiness to be found in this life, that love and laughter don't just belong to other people. I owe her a debt that I will spend the rest of my life repaying. Hee hee, I do hope she knows what she's getting herself into. So 2005. Huh. We'll see... Now if the Mets could just sign a big bat to go with Pedro's pitching... Can't wait to see the gulf coast... I really, really dig cheese. But there are like 4 or 5 things I like more. So... I love hockey. I hate not having hockey. Someone needs to know this... I mean, not cottage cheese. But I could eat Ricotta by the pound. No, they are so totally NOT the same... I think I would make an awesome Joseph. But I have absolutely NO basis for this opinion... Life without my Mennen Speed Stick would stink... Not a big fan of the whole missing-the-hell-out-of-the-most-special-person-in-the-world-every-frickin'-day-we're-apart thing... The ricotta thing is definitely negotiable, of course... I can't wait to be Emperor Of The World. I would so rock at that... If you are a straight guy who digs Asian MILFs, make sure you contact me. Just trust me on this... Yes, I know I'm free associating, and I'm cool with it...